Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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