yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
