Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
