so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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