You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
