dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
