Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
