Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
