with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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