why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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