yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
