Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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