just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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