I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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