I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
