new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
