There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my being single is dangerous.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
