maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
