We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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