Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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