That's when you crack a 10am beer
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
