My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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