Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
