Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
