I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
