marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I look better un-naked...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
