think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
