So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
