Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
