Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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