Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
