Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
this will be a night to untag.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
