Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
