i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
