Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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