I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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