He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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