Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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