I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
