Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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