I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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