so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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