btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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