Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
