I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
