I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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