if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Im part way to drunk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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