He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
