I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
