i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
