This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
