"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
